What your dr3am papi? - Video

Still...

Still workout, meditation, positive affirmations, praying, reading, writing, podcasts, breathing technique, walking and going outside... daily.
Never missed a beat or skipped a day.

That's why I know what I deserve. And I know if you give it or not.
Even when I say nothing.

Still no alcohol, drugs, smoking, watching porn or news, eating meat (once a year), over consumption, social media consumption.

Still good manners, taking responsibility, admit failures.

Still been frustrated, had anger issues, made mistakes, fail, scared, insecure, in pain, hurt, lost, sad, in grief, targeted, cursing, doubt.

No guarantees when you strive to do as good as you can to become as great as you can.

Still have to do it.

You can only imagine what will happen if you don't...

Sh0rt story:
Grown up, looking back, as they call it: in a "dysfunctional household", lack of 'emotional connection' and love. Good kid, clown in school to seek love, affection and attention. As teenager started to rebel "not giving a f*ck" any longer, destructive in a way, irresponsible. Smoking weed, smoking, drinking, partying, hustling, dealing, rapping. What you saw in rap videos, I did. Unguided projectile, no direction, lost, no identity, forgot who I was or could be...

Early twenties, had an emotional breakdown or whatever. Praying for a better life, all I saw wasn't working around me. Like being hit by thunder. Here started the awareness of change & transformation, ever since, till today. Loneliness, misunderstood, trauma's, PSTD, hurt, grief, heartache, overcoming suffering.
Healing, Entrepreneurship.
More than 10 friends died younger than me.
Wrote couple of books ????, sold thousands of products including second hand & Dropshipping.
Bought in 2012 and sold my apartment in 2020 what became a Bed & Breakfast in Hoogvliet Rotterdam.
Had 1000 of guests (often lived together in 1 house), all over the world, in kne house, that's how you learn people.
Design clothing line & jewelry, acne, skin treatments, therapy, 1000's of social media posts and been rejected, 10+ girlfriends, no kids and wife, or home that I owe myself, moved over 20 of times in my life (lost count), made tons of written and recorded music songs and music videos.

Did eventually 2 years of door to door solar panel leads, 2 years?!
The company who hired me, went bankrupt in April 2024. Eventually was my registered company also technically bankrupt, never filed for it officially.
Lost it all, my rented home in Belgium ????????, lease car, Honda Civic Hybrid, They came to pick it up with a tow truck.
Decided to sell all my belongings and bought from my last euro's the cheapest car, Ford Ka. This moment had a little welfare in Belgium due to my situation, but to late to keep my house. Found the cheapest Chalet in Cádiz South of Spain.
Went with just €100 into that direction plus 2 cats. Because of some family members who transferred a couple of euro's, Fleur and Nicole. I was able to make it.
With a car without insurance, never got caught. Good Lord. Thank God.

To record for 8 months my music, and release. Turned out in mixtape "SOW".
Welfare stopped after 2 months, when they found out I wasn't in Turnhout. This became a real big financial problem and burden. Always stressed how I will pay rent end of the month without work. Couldn't find work in an unknown place.

A few good friends and family were willing to borrow.
So had to leave after 6 months. Only option was a volunteering position, in Almería, Spain ????????.
[[Almería was by the way, the first big vacation trip abroad I made with my family when I was 13. So was nostalgic to go there]]

Stayed there 2 months. Bad experience with owner. Went to the next for 5 weeks, she wasn't much better. What's wrong with these people or the world? ???? The power positions and hierarchy changes you like a slippery slope? Who knows. First owner inherited the land, think she never grew up.
I did do learn a lot though.
Started to do garden jobs on the side too. At the volunteering I did: painting, weeding, planting trees, collecting oranges and lemon's, clean donkey poop, feed and water them, cleaning, creating, making etc.

This moment I asked someone, who's fruit trees I would water, who stayed herself in Belgium ????????. If I could stay in this small farmhouse there, answer was: of course.
For free, no electricity and water only.
She been my angel ever since.
This is God. ????❤️
Thereby I started to get more jobs, planning the week full of work.
As we speak.
I kept getting and standing up.
Practice what I preach.
"Can't Quit, Can't Stop" a song on "SOW" MIXTAPE
Kept pushing with the tools available, never gave up and never will.

Kept doing the good daily habits never skip a day.

Still did it.

I'm not even talking that I've slept with a mattress on the floor 2 years back for 2 months and the sofa the first 2 weeks here. Or some old friends mean comments.

"Know who I am & what I've done, what's right and what's wrong"